This is Alabama. We Speak English.

Not to be outdone by Arizona, one of the Republican Gubernatorial candidates here in Alabama is running a TV advertisement to appeal to the xenophobes (aka the Republican Party):

Everything about the add is ludicrous.

Claim: Offering the driver's exam in one language will save money.

Fact 1: The test is computerized and the state already paid to translate it years ago.

Fact 2: One of the key industries in the state is automobile manufacturing. Honda, Hyundai, Toyota and Mercedes-Benz all have plants in the Alabama. Many foreign nationals working in the auto industry live in Alabama for long enough amounts of time that they need licenses but not long enough that they need to learn to speak English fluently.

Fact 3: The state could lose federal transportation funding if it only offered the test in English.

Also, when James calls himself a businessman, that reminds me of the Phil Hartman SNL Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer sketch where he would say something like: "I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW and run off into the hills, or wherever. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: 'Did little demons get inside and type it?' I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages."

But the best part of the ad, is when he looks down and pauses.