Flying Perks

I wrote this a few weeks ago but never posted it because it isn't unique to the South. But I'm flying tomorrow, so I thought I'd resurrect it.

Every airline lets its customers who pay the most board the plane first. Delta has taken this to the point that they’ve jumped the shark (apparently they stole the idea from Continental, but I’ve never flown on that airline and seen for myself how they do it). On Delta flights, first class, business class, BusinessElite, SkyMiles Silver, Gold and Platinum Medallion members, SkyTeam Elite and SkyTeam Elite Plus all get to board the plane first via the “Breezeway.” Putting aside the fact that allowing so many people to pre-board cheapens that privilege, the whole concept of the Breezeway is ridiculous. It’s a four foot stanchion with a carpet on one side and a sign that indicates that the side with the carpet is the Breezay for all the above mentioned passengers, and that the other side is for general boarding.

As silly as that is, it gets worse. When I flew through Atlanta a few weeks ago, when general boarding was allowed to enter the plane, people were walking on the Breezway side of the stanchion. I know! The nerve of some people. The Delta agent working at the gate panicked, and blocked people from walking over the Breezway carpet and insisted that everyone had to walk on the general boarding side of the stanchion. I hope the carpet was burned – after the shoes of the general public had touched it, I don’t see how a first class or SkyMiles passenger could be expected to walk on it. I’ve checked, and sure enough, the dirt on the soles of general boarding passengers is dirtier than the dirt on first class shoes.

If airlines really want to include a pre-boarding perk that’s worth something, they should give everyone in first class a hand-job at the gate.